My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize