What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
