Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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