He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
