I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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