So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
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