laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
