You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
