Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
