I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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