You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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