my vag is so smooth its legendary
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
she smelled like a LAN party
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
