Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
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