ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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