I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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