I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
can u get pink eye on your cock?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
