suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
