I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
