i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
