I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
