he shaved USA in his pubs
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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