But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
