Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
