Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
