I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize