We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize