I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize