I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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