Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Randomize
