Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize