why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
God, you're like boner-b-gone
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
