Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
