sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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