Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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