I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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