how can u be prego again
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
