We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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