Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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