yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
