News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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