So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
