That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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