that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just had sex bonerless
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
