She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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