lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize