i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
