ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
