I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
