Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize