Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
