I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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