If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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