i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
