he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
