Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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