do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Bring me that man meat
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
