addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
